you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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