whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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