Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
