JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
