why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize