Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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