so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
