I think I am morally bankrupt
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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