Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
