We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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