Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
