Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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