Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize