I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish you could order shots online.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
