I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
