there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
