Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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