Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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