i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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