Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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