problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
