Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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