I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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