And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
