How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
