So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
