My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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