I must be too annoying 4 u.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They took my balls.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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