when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need water and some morals
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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