I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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