When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
