I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The power of my boobs compel you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
