you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
