So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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