I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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