You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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