Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The power of my boobs compel you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
