i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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