my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
