i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
