yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm passing your future prison.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
