i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I looked at my own cervix.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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