i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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