Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
