Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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