is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize