i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
soo... how was my night?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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