so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
