I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
