I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
