So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
