The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
