just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's always time for handjobs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
