I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
