Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We are two peas in an std pod
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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