none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
